


stand by me

by bbubbleddae



Series: moon and stars; exo ship oneshot series [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 13:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11624634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbubbleddae/pseuds/bbubbleddae
Summary: His life is just falling back into place when he sees him again.





	stand by me

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by btob's song, same as the title bc im unoriginal kms

_If I see you again by chance, will I be completely fine?_

His life is just falling back into place when he sees him again.

The summer day is bright and warm. The air smells fresh of flowers and trees. He's smiling with a few friends of his, just coming back from classes. He's happy. Free of any romantic relationship. Free of someone controlling him. Free of all things that go into loving someone.

And that's when he sees him.

His heart stops and his smile fades. The sounds of his friends become muffled into almost nothing. The world disappears and all he sees is him.

_Even if someone is next to you, will I be able to smile?_

The thing is, he's not alone.

He's holding hands and smiling genuinely with another man. The man with him has a happy smile and he's very handsome. He's taller, much taller.

Jongin wants to smile for Kyungsoo. He wants to greet him and congratulate him. But he can't.

_Back then, saying goodbye, why was it so easy?_

Jongin remembers how they broke up. It wasn't too harsh, yet, now that he remembers it and sees Kyungsoo with someone else, it hits him in just that way. Hard.

It was the type of thing where both just fell out of love. They started dating at fifteen, and truth? For three years, they did love each other dearly. Their relationship was perfect.

But it was too perfect. They fell out of love, talked about it, and decided it was best to go their separate ways. At the time, it was just so easy to end it like that.

Now, Jongin just stares. Remembers how Kyungsoo used to smile at him like that. How they used to hold hands like that.

Then Kyungsoo and the man share a kiss.

They used to kiss like that. It pangs at Jongin's chest. It hurts. It really...hurts.

The kiss was brief and it was definitely a goodbye/see-you-later kiss, as the guy is the one to leave Kyungsoo to his own devices. Jongin's friends have went ahead of him. And finally, Kyungsoo meets Jongin's eyes.

His chest hurts more.

_Stay by my side a little longer._

Kyungsoo takes Jongin to a small restaurant in town. They're silent, small talk here and there.

But soon, Jongin's just had enough of it. The moment he saw Kyungsoo with...that guy, he realized just how much he actually missed Kyungsoo. Everything about the elder male was just perfect and wonderful, and Jongin can't believe he let someone so beautiful go. He regrets it more than anything in his life.

He finally has the guts to ask about that guy.

"That was Chanyeol." says Kyungsoo with a very sweet and real smile. "We got together last Christmas."

Only six months. They broke up a year ago. How...?

Jongin swallows a lump in his throat. "D-do you love him?" He doesn't know how he has the audacity to ask that.

"I don't know." Kyungsoo stares out the window. A breeze passes and the leaves on trees swish lightly. "It hasn't been that long."

"You smile like you did with me, when you're with him."

Kyungsoo glances back at Jongin. "Is that a problem?"

Jongin's fists clench in his lap. "Maybe breaking up was a mistake."

"You're being ridiculous." Kyungsoo laughs.

"I'm serious."

Kyungsoo presses his lips in a line. "Why do you think so?"

Jongin can't answer.

The older male sighs. "We fell out of love, Jongin. We both agreed that's what happened. End of story."

Jongin's lips part. He swallows. "Would it be horrible to try again?"

"What?" Kyungsoo's eyes are wide. "Jongin, I'm not single anymore. I can't go around cheating on someone like that. Chanyeol is a great guy and doesn't deserve that."

"Then, friends. Let's try being friends again."

Kyungsoo snorts. "Are you serious? The last time we were friends was four years ago. We dated for three years. This is the first time we've spoke since–"

"You think I care?" Jongin almost snaps. Kyungsoo can only stare and close his lips. "I didn't realize it till I saw you today, but I miss you, hyung. I just want you to stay with me longer."

Kyungsoo's eyes are devoid of emotion. It's making Jongin frustrated the more he looks at those eyes. He used to know those eyes so well.

_Stay a little more so I can smile when I see you._

The silence in unbearable. Staring at each other is tense and painful. Jongin still can't read Kyungsoo's eyes. They're cold and hard to stare into.

He doesn't gaze at Jongin with a warm smile and loving eyes. Not anymore. The younger regrets everything. It hurts more now, talking to him, staring at him, than just catching a glimpse from before. Jongin just wants Kyungsoo to respond, smile, something. But there's nothing.

He feels his eyes burn and a lump lodge into his throat. "Forget it. I shouldn't have tried." Jongin rises from his chair.

_I was afraid you'd get erased._

He doesn't get very far. Kyungsoo's hand is tightly around his wrist. Jongin turns, tries not to let the tear go. "What?"

"Don't leave yet."

"Why not?"

"Maybe I miss you too. Maybe I do want to try, but I'm too damn terrified that we'll break again. I don't want to go through that. Not again." Jongin bites his lower lip. Kyungsoo releases his hold and stuffs his hands in his pockets. "Maybe we can be friends again. Maybe I miss your smile and I'm afraid to admit it." Jongin's heart beats faster. Like when they were kids. "I don't want to forget you. I don't want to lose you, as I already have."

_Sometimes, I want to hug you._

Time goes on. They try to remake a friendship, just like when they were younger.

It succeeds. They're like guy friends, messing around, being weird and immature, going out for drinks when they feel like it. It's like nothing from years ago ever happened. Just...good friends.

But so many times, Jongin feels his heart beat. His stomach flutter. His face feel warm. And he wants to hold him.

_Moments that were filled with you, days I couldn't open my eyes. Because they were so filled with the spring._

He remembers the old times. The simple and perfect dates together. Holding hands each time they were in each other's presence. Cuddling and kissing when they were alone. And nights of making love, lazy mornings with kisses snuck and never leaving each other's embrace.

It was all beautiful. He wants that again. He wants something more with Kyungsoo. He wants to love him, cherish him, more than Jongin did before.

_Can't we love again?_

He's trying now to put subtle hints in. Being slightly more clingy, hugging him at random points, maybe surprising Kyungsoo with a small gift or a kiss to his head.

Though, the more he tries, the more he realizes he won't have a chance anymore.

Then it happens.

"We're getting married, Jongin."

Those words were the words that Jongin dreaded the most. And they come out from Kyungsoo's lips. Just like that.

Jongin swallows. He fakes a smile. "That's good." He's surprised his voice doesn't shake. "I'm happy for you two."

That night, he cries alone in his room.


End file.
